’Twas the Night Before Christmas (on turf)

’Twas the night before Christmas, turf care buildings were closed,

The mowers were parked and the greens freshly rolled.

Just kidding — I know many courses are open,

With golfers galore just praying and hopin’

That they will break 80, that this is the year,

That someone will gift them all the right gear.

While golfers dream soundly for joggers and hoodies,

The crew want Carhartt and grill-master goodies.  

Architects dream how to renovate slopes,

Causing chaos and fun and dashing GHIN hopes.

Through driving and putting, players work to reach scratch,

Many will flounder (some try to blame thatch).

But back to the crew that makes it all happen,

Up and out of their beds while the world lays nappin’.

They dream of a course that is free from deep divots,

Or even a day that’s not full of quick pivots,

Superintendents know well how to think on their feet,

Irrigation heads trimmed, all the details kept neat.

Rarely do they get the credit deserved,

Yet over and over, the public they’ve served.

On Bermuda and Zoysia, many hours are spent, 

And prayers go to you, in transition with bent.

For all of the practices supposedly best,

Mean nothing at all if the turf cannot rest.

Greens chairman, this is a message for you,

On Mondays there is just far tooooooo much to do.

Thanks in advance for showing some grace,

So pitch marks get fixed all over the place.

Aerifying, verticutting, and shockwaving, too,

Some players act like they’re loose from the zoo.

Pros, I’m counting on you to share and to teach,

Golf etiquette for all must be within reach.

GM, budget talks should last a few hours, 

Please put in a good word to those with the powers.

You do what you can with resources you’re given,

Skilled labor’s a must, with a wage that’s for livin’.

For real. it’s no wonder, it’s not a surprise,

The glory you view in every sunrise.

The joy that you feel when the turf looks so pure,

When conditions are firm and attract with allure, 

Bringing out golfers in their hoodies and joggers,

Even the media and course-rating bloggers.

It’s a job that is loved and sometimes so hated;

On #TurfTwitter this thread can be fully debated.

We have covered some ground and that’s quite enough.

Superintendents you’re wonderful — pick-up-truck tough.

May helpful products always be on your shelves,

And, once in a while, welcome volunteer elves.

If you want it, may your course be covered in snow,

Now pay close attention, it’s important you know:

For real … what I think is worth having a say,

Is you are truly amazing, day after day.

If you need it, I hope rain falls from above.

May your Christmas be joyous and so filled with love.

Thank you, sincerely, for all that you do.

I hope Santa is good, to you and your crew.

Lee Carr is a northeast Ohio-based writer and senior Golf Course Industry contributor.