PARTING SHOTS: What's your profile?

Golf course industry marketers want to put you in a box.

They want to put you in a well-defined box so they can figure out how to sell you stuff. The idea is to characterize you based on what motivates you. They want to determine which things push your buttons and what they can say to get you to buy what they’re selling.

I recently worked with a client and an ad agency that would very much like to get an account in the golf business. The owner of the agency is a low handicapper who is absolutely in love with the game and wants to match his avocation with his vocation. He’s probably a member at your club, so I’ll omit his name and business to spare you the pain.

Anyway, this client was paying me to give them "insights" into the industry and, as usual, I came ready to give them facts, figures and observations about the business. But, it turned out they thought they already had it all under control.

Apparently, some 12-year-olds – er, I mean brilliant junior account executives – at the agency had already compiled a "scientific customer profile" of superintendents. It was horribly wrong in an amusing, educational sort of way. In my own words, here’s how these geniuses categorized you:

Low-end (maintenance budget under $250,000): Buys on price alone. Doesn’t go to any education or chapter events. Probably doesn’t have a degree. Dirty fingernails (or words to that effect). Likely older and chews tobacky.

Midscale ($250,000 - $600,000): Has a degree but probably isn’t certified. Probably younger and more likely to try new things. Relies heavily on what "superstar" superintendents say in testimonial ads when making buying decisions. Likely to be responsive to incentive/kickback programs.

Upscale ($600,000 and up): Definitely certified. Wears a sports coat to work and spends a lot of time schmoozing members and sipping lattes. Delegates nearly all real work to assistants. Probably an officer in the local association or on a national committee.

My response when presented with this highly scientific analysis?

Ummmmmm….bullsh*t.

The idea that superintendents’ budgets dictate what and how they buy is, in my less-than-humble opinion, a bunch of crap.

All superintendents have distinct sets of challenges, biases and buddies that shape how they choose to manage their courses. I know guys with $1 million-plus budgets who are cheap as hell. I also know guys at tiny little 9-holes who will spend proportionately ridiculous bucks on a new product if they honestly believe it will solve a nagging problem.

One thing I’ve learned in three decades in this business is that all superintendents have their own motivations for doing what they do, buying what they buy and using whichever practices they favor. So, if I had to honestly create "customer profiles" that have nothing to do with budgets, here’s what I suggest:

The Tinkerer: Will try nearly anything that the local turf doc has tested and is supplied for free as a demo. Likely to have a huge turf plot and a fancy weather station.

The Risk-Avoider: Will buy nearly anything that he’s convinced won’t cause any harm and maybe – just maybe – will help keep the greens greener.

The Ladder-Climber: A younger guy who’s taken a less-than-perfect job where he can shine for three years and wait for a job at Snootyville CC.

The Made Man: A member of the mafia – you know, one of the turf versions of La Cosa Nostra. Directly connected through internships or assistantships with a "name" superintendent; is where he is because he’s good at what he does and the Godfather likes him.

The Politician: "I wonder what that guy who might be the next green chairman would think if we didn’t roll three times a week?"

The Eco-Believer: Drank the environmental Kool-Aid and loved it. Will go for anything that claims to be "green"…even if the greens stink as a result.

The Survivor: "Please, God, just let me make it three more years. I have kids in college!"

The Pleaser: "You want the greens to roll 15 for the member/guest? You got it, sir!"

The Agronomist: "Show me the research…three times. Then show me again."

The Empty Suit: Need I say more?

The Self-Appointed Owner: "Dammit, I’ve been at this course for 15 years now and the members are idiots. This is my course, not theirs."

The Greenkeeper: "Okay…I can do that if that’s what you want…but here’s what it will cost you."

The Legend: Listens carefully and constantly. Doesn’t talk much. Delivers exactly what the members want on budget and on time.

Perhaps I’m wrong and the marketing wunderkinds are right, but I doubt it. What’s your profile? Feel free to let me know. But, maybe the point is that you need to define your own box. Don’t be anyone’s "profile." Create your own instead. GCI