The wrong kind of spin

Pop quiz! First, read the following.

“It’s here where legacies begin, woven together by an anthology of legendary experiences.”

Now, what does the quote — taken verbatim from an ad I recently saw — refer to? Is it:

1. The maternity ward of a local hospital
2. A library
3. A round-the-world cruise
4. A new golf course

Given that you’re reading Golf Course Industry and not Library Journal or a travel magazine, it refers to a new golf course somewhere. When I first read it, I immediately wrote it down because it struck me as exactly the sort of hyperbole and hype that confuses golfers by telling them absolutely nothing at all about the course they’re going to play.

No matter what kind of course you work at — public or private, Joe Six-Pack muni or mega-bucks resort, “best list” regular or “we’re lucky to have a working greens mower” golf track — you likely see the same magazines and websites designed to promote the game that I do. So, you’ve read the same nonsense.

Whenever I see such drivel, I go through a progression of emotions, from anger to curiosity, disgust to embarrassment. It shocks me that this is the best that so-called marketing minds can come up with. What is anyone reading this drivel supposed to take away from it?

Yes, I know it’s about sales. Selling homes, rooms, rounds, memberships and, let us not forget, lifestyles. But do the people trying to convey what is special about a course, a community or a resort even play golf? Do they understand what’s important to the golfing consumer?

Wouldn’t it be nice if all the so-called “minimalism” at work in the game today also applied to how it’s marketed? Hey, I can dream, can’t I?

It’s likely you’ll never be asked, no matter where you work, to help educate and illuminate the spin doctors entrusted with trying to sell golf to the public. But I’d certainly support the organizations that really know what’s going on lending some of their expertise to the advertising and PR agencies that think a lasting legendary legacy is more important than good conditioning.

Our own GCSAA and the USGA could do worse than try to explain what makes a golf course fun, memorable, exciting, strategic and worth paying for. I’d like to say the American Society of Golf Course Architects could help, too, but many of its members are as guilty as the hot-air merchants in artificially inflating a course’s, and their own, self-importance. How many times can they work on “one of the best pieces of land they’ve ever seen?”

Here are some terms we use that I think consumers understand and appreciate:

• Tightly mown or closely cropped fairways
• Firm and fast
• Consistent quality of cut
• Healthy turf
• Consistent, properly paced greens (with the correct speed for the architecture)

Think about how you would want to describe a golf course, then read this:

This morning, I sent my crew out to the undulating greens, formed by unparalleled landforms on the championship layout.

Defined by natural terrain, the lush fairways and unique bunkering with pristine white sand challenge every level of golfer.

No doubt, these elevated standards of golf course architecture create a time-honored tradition with a nod toward match play.

Our seven, multi-level tee complexes beckon to a compelling layout that commands one’s attention.

It took every tool in my Gator to keep me from throwing the remote.

How would a superintendent analyze some of the more common phrases used to describe — and help sell — a golf course? See if you agree with me.

Lush fairways. If that doesn’t sound like wasting water, what does?

Natural terrain. Aren’t all golf courses natural terrain? If not, where are you building it?

Challenge every level of golfer. Do you know any golfers for whom golf is not a challenge?

Championship golf course. Unless it’s hosted a true or National Championship — not the club championship — that’s just baloney.

Unparalleled landforms. It’s either the New York City skyline or the Rocky Mountains.

Undulating greens. Because we’re not playing snooker.

Unique bunkering. Unique how? No sand?

Manicured fairways. See Augusta National.

Pristine white sand. See above.

Elevates the standards of golf course architecture. From what to what? And says who?

Time-honored tradition. Is that more or less than 100 years?

Seven, multi-level tee complexes. More maintenance with less labor.

Iconic layout. The Old Course.

Links-style golf course. In the middle of Tennessee? I don’t think so.

Again, it’s probably unlikely that you’ll be asked to help the marketing folks write a new brochure describing the course you spend countless hours maintaining to the best of your ability with the budget you’ve been given. But even if no one ever asks for your input, be able to describe and explain your course honestly. Don’t be afraid to speak up when the membership director, greens chair or ownership rep wants to put the best foot forward.

Believe me, the golfing public is as tired of hearing these puffed-up descriptions that tell them absolutely nothing about how the course looks or plays. Remind those responsible for bringing in new members or guests that what golfers want is a course that looks good, plays fast and fair, and will give them good value for their dollar. In other words, fun.

Furthermore, who knows the course, the land and the realities of caring for that land better than you? More than any brochure, drone footage or marketing video, what sells a golf course is having a good time on a golf course. And who has more control over that than you? Who else can cut the rough long or short? Make the greens fast or slow? Keep the bunkers penal or fair? Trim trees, eliminate weeds, add a few extra yards to a drive, angle the tee markers and set the hole locations?

Those are the qualities that sell a golf course, and whatever you do with them is in your — and your course’s — best interests. Be honest about what you’ve got, then present it in the best possible way, and remember who’s out there playing day after day. The better you do that, the greater your value to the overall operation. Everybody wins.