Ask Jonesy

I have spent the better part of my adult life asking you dumb questions. You’ve put up with my lack of knowledge about the turf science as a young reporter (“Tell me exactly where you insert the hypodermic needle when you do this ‘syringe’ thing.”). You forgave me when I tried to get philosophic (“So, is it stressful for you trying to grow grass that’s mowed this short?). But, all that was an honest attempt to better understand what you do and write about it.

So I’m returning the favor by recounting a (fake) interview I recently gave to Bubba T. Urf, a (fake) superintendent who is writing a (fake) article for his (fake) chapter newsletter about how our magazine is produced. Here it goes:

“Why do I get freebie mags every month?”

Well, Fake Bubba, what you receive are called “controlled circulation” magazines. In short, advertisers want to reach a certain demographic group who might buy their stuff. GCI goes mainly to superintendents, but also assistants, turf profs, consultants, owners and other club types who make buying decisions. You’re one of the 28,000 or so people who have some voice in what widgets and potions get bought.

“Seems like some of the freebie magazines are thinner. What the hell?”

You guys stopped buying as much stuff as you did a few years back and advertisers don’t feel the love the way they used to.

“But there are still too many ads. They interfere with my reading pleasure.”

Get over it Bubba. Look, the ads allow us to provide you with free information and, hopefully, make a couple of bucks.

“Do you, Pat Jones, actually put the whole magazine together every month?”

Yes.