Staying Strong

On June 29, Carolinas GCSA directors each received an email from executive director Tim Kreger. It read: “I just got a call from Bill Kennedy asking me to share this sad news with you all. Billy Bagwell’s wife, Amanda, has been diagnosed with stage three breast cancer. She just turned 30. Please keep Billy and Amanda and their family in your thoughts and prayers….Bill Kennedy will keep us all posted….”

Bagwell, from Callawassie Island Club, is himself a Carolinas GCSA director and Kennedy, from Chechessee Creek Club, is the association president. Kennedy is also Bagwell’s closest superintendent neighbor in Okatie, S.C. So it wasn’t just sympathy that the directors felt, there was also sadness because this news was personal for each of them.

But as their hearts were sinking with the reading of each line of Kreger’s email, two others were already beginning to lift. “Amanda and I decided we want to bring light to the darkness,” Bagwell says. “We’re taking the approach that we are going to be ambassadors for a cause rather than victims of a disease. We are going to do all that we can to raise awareness. That might help other people catch it as early as possible or offer some hope and support to those who might already going through it.”

To that end, the Bagwells have made their experience very public with Billy writing a blog - The Lump in the Road – that shares intensely personal perspectives on their journey. It was after reading a blog written by the husband of another young woman with breast cancer that Billy says Amanda gained a “huge morale boost.” Seeing the benefit his wife derived from that experience, he decided to follow suit. “My goal with our blog is to kind of pay it forward,” he says. “Hopefully it can serve as inspiration for the next person who finds themselves in this situation.”

One recent post provides a clear example of what the Bagwells face and how they are going about it. That post from Sept. 21 reads in part: “Amanda was warned about the cumulative effect of the chemo. But as with most things, you never know until you experience it firsthand. Well, the days following the most recent round of chemo were the hardest yet. Amanda experienced all the same symptoms, exhaustion, nausea, loss of appetite, headaches, bone pain, etc. But this time they hit her hard and lasted longer than ever.

© Billy Bagwell

“It becomes harder for me each time to watch her go through this stuff. Sitting by, almost helpless as she can barely get out of bed. I so want to take the pain away, rid her body of this cancer, free her of the emotional stress this journey brings. I know deep down I can’t snap my fingers and it become true, but I continue to pray, continue to have faith, continue to be strong at the moments when Amanda can’t.

“She only has two more rounds of chemo and I am thankful for that, but I continue to worry more about the next step in this journey. Surgery, radiation and reconstruction still remain and the more we learn about those steps the more Amanda dreads those days to come. I’m beginning to change my outlook that this journey is a marathon. It’s not a marathon, it’s an ironman.”

The Bagwells have two sons, Brantley, 3, and William, 11 months. The cancer was discovered after Amanda finished breastfeeding William. “Cancer was the last thing we thought of,” Bagwell says. “Amanda had mastitis with our first son and we thought she’d get some antibiotics and a week or two later everything would be good like it was then.”

Instead, her visit to the doctor sparked a whirlwind of specialist visits and tests including biopsies, the results of which “confirmed the worst day of our lives,” Bagwell says. “We’re both very analytical. We said, ‘Tell us the truth and we’ll come up with a strategy to deal with it.’ They said, ‘If you don’t do anything, you will be lucky to survive five years.’ I looked at Amanda and thought, ‘OK, we’re fighting for your life.’”

Don’t think this can’t happen to you just because you’re young. From a husband’s perspective, make sure you remind your wives to check regularly and be as supportive as possible. But if you find yourself in this position, remember that it’s OK to let some of the emotion out.” —Billy Bagwell

Four months in, Amanda’s tumors have softened and reduced in size as a result of treatment, both positive signs. “We’re gaining on it but we still have a long way to go,” Bagwell says. “We’re big believers. It was only a God thing that got us through the next few weeks after the diagnosis. It seemed like everything we needed to fall into place actually fell into place. We’re very thankful.”

Bagwell is also thankful for support from within the golf course industry and to the membership at Callawassie Island Club which turned out in even greater support this year for the club’s annual LoCo Motion fundraising event for breast cancer research. “The outpouring of support has just been unbelievable,” he says. “We haven’t had to cook a meal since June. Someone is bringing over dinners every other day. There have been so many offers of help. Sometimes it’s hard to accept help – but we know it’s there.”

Bagwell hopes their blog will help prompt readers to “do their due diligence.” “Don’t think this can’t happen to you just because you’re young,” he says. “From a husband’s perspective, make sure you remind your wives to check regularly and be as supportive as possible. But if you find yourself in this position, remember that it’s OK to let some of the emotion out. Find someone whose shoulder you can cry on. Don’t bottle it all up because you’ll never survive. For me, having faith that, no matter what, the Good Lord is going to bring me and my family through this means everything. We’re determined to embrace whatever he brings and find the good in that.”