(Parting shots) Dirty little secrets

OK, I know I’m going to get nasty letters no matter how I spin this, but here’s the disclaimer anyway: My time in this market has convinced me 99 percent of golf course superintendents bend over backward to follow the spirit and the letter of the law. Most take enormous pride in their integrity, environmental commitment and knowledge of the rules and regulations that apply to them. In short, there are few bad apples in this market.

But, you know what they say about even one bad apple …

We all know that in rare cases extreme pressure from ownership, budget restraints, arrogance, ignorance or just plain greed have led a few superintendents astray of law and common sense. I’m not going to delve into specific horror stories, but allow me to present a few general examples of instances when superintendents act badly. Here are some of the industry’s dirty little secrets.

Legally disposing of expired, cancelled or banned pesticides isn’t easy or inexpensive. Typically, the issue arises when a new superintendent replaces an old-timer who just couldn’t bring himself to toss out those two gallons of chlordane on the shelf in the back of the chemical shed. Or, even more commonly, a superintendent inherits a “mystery jug” with no label. The temptation to make it go away simply and quietly is strong, even if you know it’s a violation of federal law to pour them down the drain behind the maintenance facility.

But, of course, the worst case is reckless disregard for disposal laws. I know of at least two cases – one is an open secret in the industry – in which superintendents at famous, high-end private clubs literally buried the evidence. In the best-known case, the evidence was in the form of a drum of a banned product that was quietly put under a few feet of earth behind the maintenance facility with extreme persistence and mobility. But, add one disgruntled ex-employee to the mix, and suddenly the midnight disposal job wasn’t so quiet any more. The cleanup probably cost 50 times what the disposal cost would have been if it was done correctly.

By the way, the theme of the disgruntled employee looms large in many of these terrible tales. Before you ever consider doing anything remotely improper, you should always ask yourself whether all of your workers are 100-percent happy and loyal. That, in itself, should be the ultimate deterrent to malfeasance.

There are few sights in nature that rival a V-wing of majestic Canada geese flying in over an idyllic lake for a landing. Conversely, there are few sights as appalling as what that same gaggle will drop on a fairway or the damage geese can do when they decide to make a golf course their home. Despite zillions of products, practices and potions to control these flying feces factories, superintendents still are sometimes driven to desperation … and occasionally step over the line of legality.

Hopefully, no one will ever repeat what a superintendent under extreme membership duress did at a Virginia course 15 years ago when literally truckloads of dead Canada geese were carted away after an intentional application of avicide. That one made the newspapers and TV reports.

But, based on what I hear, there are other sporadic examples of illegal goose control methods, including unlicensed egg shaking, nest disruption and even flat-out firearm usage. I’ll never forget what a leading golf course wildlife control consultant said years ago. When asked what the most effective way to manage domesticated geese was, he suggested the “Three S” strategy: “shoot, shovel and shhhhh!” Humorous perhaps, but however nasty these creatures may be, they’re still considered to be a protected species in most places, and we have to live with that and manage as best we can using legal technologies and practices.

Purchasing incentive programs offered by suppliers can be wonderful. They often drive contributions to local and national associations. They can allow superintendents to purchase unbudgeted items or provide something extra for their crews. They can even earn the facility a discount on future spending and save some dollars.

But, in rare cases, they also can go right back into a superintendent’s pocket without the owner’s knowledge. At the least, it’s probably inappropriate. At the worst, it’s criminal.

I remember sharing a speaking engagement a few years ago with Mike Hughes, the sharp head of the National Golf Course Owners Association. An audience member asked him about superintendents, pros or other staff personally accepting cash-back rebates or similar gifts. Hughes was, as usual, right to the point: “My members would call that embezzlement.”

I’ll admit this can be a gray area, but the rule of thumb needs to be: If it doesn’t benefit the facility, the superintendent or pro directly, only accept the incentive with the knowledge of ownership. A great example is a vacation trip earned under various programs out there. I know several superintendents who somewhat sheepishly approached management to ask if it was OK to accept a trip. In every case, they were told, “Go ahead. You deserve it.”

Another dirty little secret that turns up occasionally is off-label use of products that aren’t registered for turf. I’ve never heard of a superintendent doing this by choice, but it happens. Here’s how. A less-than-scrupulous green committee member or a drinking buddy of the owner says, “Hey, I know the local farm co-op guy, and he says he can get us fungicide with the same ingredient for half the price.”

Sounds good except that it’s a violation of federal law. And, in most cases, the formulation used for that same active ingredient is substantially different than the turf version. Also, it won’t work or might even cause phytotoxicity. So, it’s not only illegal, but it’s dumb.

One superintendent handled the situation by telling his owner: “Sure, but let’s test a bit first and see how it works on a turf plot.” As he was putting the ag product in his sprayer, he “accidentally” added an ounce or so of contact herbicide. Needless to say, that was the end of the matter.

That last anecdote shows that it’s OK to be a little dishonest to prevent a bigger sort of dishonesty occasionally. It also supports my original point (note how I’m reinforcing this before you write me a nasty-gram) that the vast majority of superintendents bend over backward to be honest and follow the rules. The rest can find another line of work.

Agree? Disagree? Got a story of your own? Log onto our new message board at www.golfcoursenews.com, and let’s talk about it. GCN

Pat Jones is president of Flagstick LLC, a consulting firm that provides sales and marketing intelligence to green-industry businesses. He can be reached at psjhawk@cox.net or 440-478-4763.